The Choose FPL monologue on a pint glass. A Transferspotting tribute to every FPL manager who’s stared at the screen, questioned everything, and still wouldn’t change a thing.
Monologue:
"Choose a squad. Choose a captain. Choose a vice-captain. Choose a team name. Choose a mini-league. Choose goals, assists, clean sheets and bonus points. Choose good fixtures, low ownership and high ceilings. Choose a chip strategy. Choose when to wildcard. Choose who to triple captain and when to free hit. Choose scoring five extra points on a bench boost. Choose a -8 to triple up on Leeds players for their double gameweek. Choose drunken Friday night transfers, wondering what the fuck you did to your team on a Saturday morning. Choose sitting on the couch watching minute-by-minute, spirit crushing, nerve-racking score updates, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose yelling at the screen atter a ninety-seventh minute clean sheet wipeout. Nothing more than an emotional rollercoaster to the whimsical, fucked up unpredictability of FPL you dedicate your weekends to. Choose a weekend off. Choose something else. But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose a weekend off. I chose the agony of an inevitable red arrow. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got this beautiful game. Choose FPL."
