{"product_id":"fpl-desk-mat-transferspotting-monologue","title":"FPL Desk Mat | Transferspotting Monologue","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThe Transferspotting monologue desk mat is the perfect gift for any Fantasy Premier League manager who has ever had choices to make. A parody of the famous Trainspotting 'choose life' speech, reworked as a list of FPL choices every manager will recognise. Part pop culture, part desk setup. Choose FPL.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-end=\"2310\" data-start=\"2144\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2191\" data-start=\"2144\"\u003e23.6\" x 13.8\" desk mat\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e100% polyester front; 100% natural rubber backing\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-end=\"2254\" data-start=\"2221\"\u003eHand illustrated by fplStore\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003eIdeal for the home office, the gaming setup, birthdays, Christmas, Secret Santa, or as a gift or mini-league prize for the manager who lives and breathes FPL.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMonologue: \u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Choose a squad. Choose a captain. Choose a vice-captain. Choose a team name. Choose a mini-league. Choose goals, assists, clean sheets and bonus points. Choose good fixtures, low ownership and high ceilings. Choose a chip strategy. Choose when to wildcard. Choose who to triple captain and when to free hit. Choose scoring five extra points on a bench boost. Choose a -8 to triple up on Leeds players for their double gameweek. Choose drunken Friday night transfers, wondering what the fuck you did to your team on a Saturday morning. Choose sitting on the couch watching minute-by-minute, spirit crushing, nerve-racking score updates, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose yelling at the screen atter a ninety-seventh minute clean sheet wipeout. Nothing more than an emotional rollercoaster to the whimsical, fucked up unpredictability of FPL you dedicate your weekends to. Choose a weekend off. Choose something else. But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose a weekend off. I chose the agony of an inevitable red arrow. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got this beautiful game. Choose FPL.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"23.6\" × 13.8\"","offer_id":62794106536323,"sku":"26290554608755169706","price":35.95,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0942\/4859\/9939\/files\/transferspottting-monologue-desk-mat-5.jpg?v=1791568231","url":"https:\/\/fplstore.com\/products\/fpl-desk-mat-transferspotting-monologue","provider":"FPL Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}